Team Building

So Chilly decides that the "cornerstones" of his offense need to get along better. I'm not sure what his deal was - I think I get along fine with everyone. (That is, as long as everyone knows who's in charge.) So he takes me and "All Day" out for a paintball outing.

Which begs the question - if his name is Adrian Peterson, his initials are A.P., right? So why the hell is his nickname All Day? I mean, MY initials are B.F. - which stands for "Best Footballer." His nickname should be "Allows Points," or something, right?

So, if you know anything about me, it's this. I like to hunt. Birds, deer, squirrels, chipmunks - whatever. Guns? I got 'em. Camo? I got that too. I've got ATV's, 4x4's, 6x6's - you name it - I got it. I have experience in outdoorsy stuff. I figure I'm going to rock this. Maybe I'll go pro. There IS a professional paintball league, isn't there? Readers - please help if you know of something, ok?

We get out in the woods, get suited up, and get matched up with some yahoos from Brooklyn Park. Nice enough guys, but they smelled like asparagus. It was weird.

They start the first round, and we scatter. I head for the tree line, and wait.

I'm sensing movement to the north.
I wait.
I see the tall grass move in an unnatural way.
I wait.

Then, from the tall grass, a figure emerges. I take aim, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, and squeeze the trigger...

I shoot Adrian. (Just another example of someone NOT following the play I call. He was NOT where he was supposed to be.)

He starts crying like Warren Sapp. Seriously. He's laying in the dirt, with these big tears rolling down his cheeks, sobbing like a damn 4 year old.

So Chilly runs over to him, cradles him in his arms, and says, "It's ok Ade - everything is going to be all right."

So I shot Chilly just on principle.

I can't stand whiners and crybabies.

His initials are A.P., right? How about "Always Pussing?"