Dinner

As I tweeted last night, I was in the mood for real authentic Italian food. As far as I know, there's no better place for that, than the Olive Garden.

Where else can you go and get Alfredo sauce that tastes like it was flown in from Tuscany? Seriously people. I know it's kind of on the upper end of the priciness scale - but save your money, and treat yourself to a little taste of heaven.

I get there around 6:30 last night, and a hostess named Jeanne told me that I'd need to wait 55-65 minutes. Apparently, she didn't know who I am. Strange. She must not own a TV. I asked for the manager, and a large, physically unattractive man named Russell came out. Russell owns a TV. I was immediately shuttled to the back section of the restaurant, and seated in the corner.

Interesting fact about Brett Favre. I always sit in a corner, with my back toward the rest of the place. That way, nobody sees my face. I get left alone, and TMZ doesn't get a picture of my with food in my mouth. It's a win-win for me.

Anyway, after about 5 minutes, my waiter - though I guess you have to call them "servers" now - comes over, and gives me a complimentary glass of the finest wine in the house. Principato something-or-other. When Brett Favre is happy - everyone is happy.

Truth be told, I'm not really a fan of wine. I'm more of a tequila shot guy.

As always, I order the tour of Italy. It's a vacation for your taste buds. Fettucini alfredo, Chicken Parmesan, and Lasagna. If you can scrape up the cash, I highly recommend it. I realize that not everyone is the same tax bracket as me. Trust me, it's worth it.

I finish my dinner, and once again, Brett Favre is nourished. The thing that you need to know about Olive Garden, is that their chefs go through years of culinary training. It's as if they pick the "chosen ones" at birth. How else can you explain the consistency of their food from restaurant to restaurant.

The food was perfect - it's as if I was back in Hattiesburg. Swear to God.