Seriously??

I really didn't know this happened, as I was playing the game on Monday - not watching it.

Can ESPN really be this dumb?

What a bunch of idiots.

Esteban has it right...

Chad Ochocinco (The player formerly known as Chad Johnson) of the Cincinnati Bengals did something that can only be described as PURE GENIUS last year.

He changed his name.

You may ask why I view that as genius. It's simple, really.

Jersey sales = dollars.

Let's say you're a HUGE Chad fan. You've dropped the $300 to buy his authentic jersey. (Side note: Anything but an authentic, on-field jersey is crap.)

So anyway - you go to your local bar, wearing your jersey, and what do you know... Chad "Johnson" doesn't play for the Bengals anymore. Chad "OCHOCINCO," however, does.

Translation - you're about to be out another $300. (And Chad Ochocinco is about to get another paycheck.)

So what does everyone think? Dare I change my name to "El Cuatro?"

Vier?
Quatre?
Fyra?

Honestly, I could do this every year (for different teams, of course) and my jersey sales would SKYROCKET.

Chad - you are a marketing genius. Period.

Spa Day yesterday

After the thrashing I put on the Packers Monday night - I decided to take Tuesday off. No game film, no practice, no trainers - nothing. Hell, I earned it.

I spent my entire day at the Solimar Day Spa. What a totally fabulous day.

I got a facial, a pedicure, a "body & soak journey," and even treated my self to a little waxing. (Where, you ask? I'll never tell!)

I highly recommend their services. Be sure to ask for Kim Spinner.

Joe Heller - You little bitch

Joe Heller of the Green Bay Press Gazette has done it again...

You little bitch. You'll get yours. I can't wait to see the cartoon you draw on Tuesday morning.

Ed Gein? Seriously?

Check this out. I can't make this shit up.

So let me get this straight Chilly - you want me to kill people now?

Granted - everyone from announcers, to sports writers, to ESPN anchors have given me a pass on everything I've done - but I think if I really DO kill someone - I'll get called on it.

On an unrelated note - does anyone know where Ted Thompson's seats are for Monday?

Gotta Make the donuts...

So I decided to take the day off yesterday.

Let's face it - I don't need practice. I'm at the top of my game. I know it. Always did know it. It just took one stupid pass to win the game against San Francisco, and look at that. You're all on board now.

So I had nothing to do.

I took a ride to the Old Fashioned Donut Shoppe. (I love any business attempting to get the "old world feel" by adding an "PE" to the word "Shop." It's genius, actually.

Isn't it amazing that by adding 2 little letters, you get instant gravitas. (Kind of like adding "BF" to the Vikings. I'm just sayin'...)

So I walk in - and instantly the staff knows. Brett is here. We need to make this special.

So Joe, the owner, invites me back to see the process. It's really not a whole lot different than football.

You put a bunch of ingredients in a bowl, (locker room) mix them up, (training camp) mold all of it into a shape that you find appealing and discard the unnecessary, (roster cuts) and then cook it. (games)

What you get is really pretty good. But it's not done yet. You're missing one critical piece that separates it all.

Toppings.

Let's call it like it is. You could top a donut with sour cream (Sage Rosenfels) or you could top it with turkey gravy. (Tavaris Jackson) But realistically, who'd pay for that crap? (Season ticket sales)

No, no, no... You top a donut with the sweetest, most magnificent thing in the world. Icing. (Brett Favre)

Then - the donut is amazing. It's perfection in a circle. (Super Bowl.)

I'm not saying that I guarantee I'll win another Super Bowl this year. But I'm sure as hell not saying that I wont.